Is this REALLY the FINAL “membership exclusive” figure for fans of 12-Inch GIJOEs?
It’s rare that a package containing a brand-new GIjOE shows up, unannounced, in our company’s mailroom; but today was just such an occasion. Typically, such unplanned, “surprise” events have been met with grand celebrations among the overworked staffers here at The Joe Report, but sadly, today, that was not to be the case. When the receptionist dropped the morning mail onto my desk—I literally JUMPED out of my chair. I saw the box from the GIjOE club and immediately buzzed everyone’s intercom, calling for an urgent “all hands on deck” meeting in the conference room.
Standing elbow to elbow, we happily ringed around the massive, oblong conference table, our hands wringing and our breath held “in toto” in silent, anxious anticipation. As we all knew, first glimpses and first impressions were EVERYTHING whenever a new Joe joined our ranks, and this unusual figure would prove to be no exception. The room fell DEATHLY quiet (a term that would prove to be quite apropos) and as the plain, “coffin-style” mailing box was finally opened, the first, HONEST reactions from those present plunged wildly from eager, ecstatic anticipation—to stunned, silent SHOCK. A “temp” from the upstairs steno pool audibly gasped. A copywriter, unsure of exactly how she might describe or “spin” what she seeing, simply giggled. One of our “street-wise” freelance photographers actually seemed to recoil—but in what? Fear? HORROR? It wasn’t exactly clear. Finally, someone managed to speak up and blurted out, “What IS that thing?”
Bottom Line: Hello there, Zombie Joe! What stared up at us from that cardboard coffin box was indeed a shocking sight to many. It can only be described as some sort of gray/greenish “corpse-like” figure. Comparisons to zombies and TV’s “The Walking Dead” quickly come to mind, but the most common appellation that came up among our group was “lifeless.” Of all the GIjOEs we’ve ever seen, and believe me, we’ve seen a LOT of them, this is the most… DEAD looking. Oh well, a “dead” GIjOE will certainly find a place in many sci-fi or other such 1:6 scale custom dioramas. If you can think of a good use for this figure, please let us know. Without his “black & white” uniform, he’s quite literally, “lifeless.” But heck, a Joe is a Joe—is a JOE. We’ll take ’em ALL!