SHOCKER!—Patches of Pride Esta KAPUT-ski!

After 22 years of dedicated service to the 1:6 scale community, Patches of Pride (PoP) owner Mark Otnes has apparently decided to call it “quits.” Besides being the world’s go-to source for 1:6 scale patches, decals and other related accessories, PoP was also the long-standing, sole sponsor of The Joe Report. Yet, as of December 12, 2020, both the PoP website and its social media page on Facebook have been completely removed from the internet. Poof! Kaput! Adios! GONE.

Understandably curious (and a trifle concerned) about this unexpected turn of events, we dispatched our team of dedicated reporters to track down Mr. Otnes for an official comment. TJR Field Reporter Fred Friendly was the first to locate the reclusive miniatures magnate at an undisclosed resort hotel—somewhere in Hawaii—and according to Friendly—

When I finally found him, Mr. Otnes was reclining back on a padded, chaise lounge chair, tucked away beneath a massive beach umbrella. I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear a low snore emanating from the shade as I approached. Suddenly, and with apparent cat-like reflexes, Otnes reached out and grabbed—a frosty-cold drink from the small table that was placed next to his chair. Between sips of the piña colada, he agreed to respond to my questions about the demise of his beloved business and plans for future projects.

Making it Just So—A resort employee tidies up after Mark Otnes of Patches of Pride had left to take a stroll on the beach. According to this employee, “Oh, yes. Mr. Otnes is a VERY big tipper. And he likes his umbrella to be moved every hour—on the hour—so as to exactly match the movement of the sun. He doesn’t want to get a burn, you see. He’s very specific about that.”

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As I approached Mr. Otnes, he looked up and addressed me, stating—

“No, no, no… No more beluga caviar, please. And stop asking me, okay? I… Oh, sorry. You look like you work at the hotel. Actually, you look like you’ve been sleeping in your clothes for 3 days.”

He was right, of course, but after I introduced myself, I asked him about why he had decided to take the highly popular Patches of Pride website away from everyone. Why would he DO such a thing? The questions seemed to surprise him, as he replied—

“Hey, I didn’t take nuthin! And before you ask, I don’t know about any embezzlement of PoP company funds, either. It was all probably just some sorta simple accounting error, ya’ know?”

Um.. okay. I wasn’t sure if it was all the Biscotti cookies I’d eaten on the plane (so sue me, I’m sugar-addicted) or the raging case of jet-lag that was throbbing through my brain, but it seemed as if he’d misunderstood my question. I asked him instead about his plans for the future, on account that he’d have to get off this shore sometime. At this query, he sat bolt upright, stating—

“Look, Hobo-Joe—Don’t think I don’t get what you’re sayin’—I don’t know anything about any ‘off-shore accounts,’ okay? And as to my future ‘plans,’ I intend to give it all away to some charity, okay? I heard a Costanza guy talking on TV the other night and he mentioned something called ‘The Human Fund.’ That sounded good to me!”

By now, I was lost. However, I pressed on and asked Otnes if he planned to continue supporting 1:6 scale news outlets such as The Joe Report, and he practically yelled the following invective at me—

“Do I have to call Security? You ‘Freedom of the Press’ weirdos bug the heck outta me. And before you start asking about my new Bentley, I have a receipt from the dealership in the glovebox and a note from my CPA stating it’s a legit business expense, okay?

Now, get outta my way, Rumpled-suit-skin!”

At this, Mr. Otnes abruptly rose from his chair and shoved his way past me, knocking the camera out of my hands and into some nearby bushes. Before I was able to retrieve the camera and snap a photo, he had already stormed halfway down the beach, looking back only to shake a fist at me as he went around the bend and out of sight.

Bottom Line: We’re sorry we weren’t able to get any more information about this breaking news story, but until and unless Mr. Otnes decides to become more forthcoming, we’ll have to leave it at that. Oh! Before leaving town, Mr. Otnes DID leave a brief written explanation for his actions over on a new blog entitled, “Otnes Originals.” If you’d like to read that, please jump HERE now.

“ROCK” ON! Custom 1:6 Sgt. Rock Figure by Wayne “The Brain” Faucher Sets Ever-Higher Standards

SGT. ROCK (center) and his compatriots LIVE in Wayne Faucher’s 1:6 scale world! (Photo: WEF)

It’s time for more 1:6 scale greatness from renowned comic book inker and custom action figure maker, Wayne Faucher— This time, Wayne’s subject matter is DC Comic’s “Sgt. Rock.” Let’s jump right in to the HARD facts about Faucher’s Rock. According to Wayne—

“I came to comics pretty late for a kid, but when I did, I never left. I’ve been an artist for Marvel and DC Comics for most of my adult life. But growing up, it was DC’s Haunted Tank and Sgt. Rock for me! I was WAY into GI Joe at the time (still am!) and these tales fueled imagination to no end.”

YOU LOOKIN’ AT ME? This closeup of Faucher’s Sgt. Rock reveals many of the superb details in this custom figure. Note the careful choice of (tattered) uniform, cloth ammo pouches, hand-painted headsculpt, and custom patches and helmet decals from Patches of Pride—WOW! (Photo: WEF)

“I already had the DC Direct Sgt. Rock figure as well as the Dreams and Visions GI Joe version and they’re both beautiful pieces. But the DC Direct figure is 13 inches tall and looks a little weird next to regular 1/6 figures. I mean, Joe Kubert drew Rock as tall, but he’s not 7 feet! And the GI Joe version looks, well, like a GI Joe. So, I thought I’d try my hand at a figure in-between the two.“

AWESOME— Faucher’s Sgt. Rock back-view. Are you jealous yet? WOW! (Photo: WEF)

“I wanted something that recalled the Kubert version, but not as severe as the 13-inch head sculpt. So I went back to my trusty GI Joe (Infantry Squad Leader) Grunt head sculpt for a start. I’d already used recasts of that head for both my Race Bannon and Mighty Mightor figures. It has a great chin and a strange divergence of cartooniness and realism. I popped another one in resin and I was ready to go! I did a little reshaping of the brow, cheeks and hair (I wanted that military flat top look) and I painted it up accentuating that Kubert 5 o-clock shadow.” 

FROM 1-inch AWAY— Tiny 1:6 scale cloth uniform patches and waterslide helmet decals are the perfect finishing touches for ANY custom action figure. Wayne Faucher’s Sgt. Rock makes VERY good use of such products—all from Patches of Pride. COOL! (Photo: WEF)

“Once I had the head, I raided my collection and pulled an old Dragon Normandy (˜Dave”) figure off the shelf. I stole his shirt, pants, helmet, boots, Tommy gun, belt and equipment from him. The rest I pulled from the parts bin. All I ended up buying was the dog tags! Next came the piece de resistance— chevron stripes and helmet decals from Patches of Pride! POP not only offered the pocket patches and shoulder rank stripes, but also the character-specific helmet decal to really set the figure off! If you have any additional questions, feel free to ask, here, on Facebook or on Instagram! —Wayne Faucher

BLASTING AWAY—to SAVE THE DAY— Faucher’s Sgt. Rock knows no fear! (Photo: WEF)

Bottom Line: Wayne Faucher’s custom Sgt. Rock action figure is yet another prime example of why he is considered to be one of the very BEST customizers “working” in the 1:6 scale universe today. Our sincerest thanks go out to him (again) for sharing all of his knowledge and experience here, with the faithful readers of The Joe Report. You are the BEST, sir. Keep up the great work!

BUMMER! Toylanta/Joelanta 2020—is CANCELED

Bottom Line: You already know the reasons. Here’s the official word from the show organizers:

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

With an ache in our heart, we announce that after an extremely difficult deliberation, meetings with the hotel, and meetings with local officials, we regretfully have come to the conclusion that we need to cancel Toylanta/Joelanta this year. 

We are working on plans for refunds and we have already booked the dates for ’21 and ’22 and will be announcing those shortly.

Please forgive us. It is with a heavy heart that we arrived at this decision, but we believe it is the best decision, because we love you all and want to keep you safe. We will be announcing some details shortly. Please bear with us in the interim. —Toylanta

Wayne Faucher Creates Unique “What if?” Custom Figure of Beatles’ Paul McCartney—in 1:6 Scale

Sometimes articles for The Joe Report just fall right into our lap. Such is the case today— In an extraordinary example of kindness and karma, “Wonderful” Wayne Faucher had just completed a PERFECT, 1:6 scale custom action figure of famed Beatle’s bassist, singer and songwriter, (Sir!) Paul McCartney, and kindly decided to share the results of his efforts with us here on TJR—

Text and Photos ©Wayne Faucher (WEF)

“Hey Mark— Hope all’s well! Not sure if you’re still interested in my nonsense for The Joe Report, but I’m just wrapping up a 1/6 scale Paul McCartney to accompany my 1:6 John Lennon from a couple of years ago, and I wondered if and your readers would like a look.

I wanted to keep Paul in the same time frame as the John I did, although (unlike my Lennon) not specific to any particular performance or photo. So, I conceived the following ‘what if’ scenario: What if the Beatles were still together in 1971? As you may remember, my entire Adventure Team Commando line was based on a similar ‘what if’ conceit as well.

So— Paul is costumed in a basic black suit, which seemed pretty common for him between ’69 and ’71. I put him in sneakers to add just a touch of playfulness. The head sculpt is from Kumik. It’s very nicely done, but depicts an early 60’s Paul, so I had to do some alterations to the hair, as well as adding the beard. I also repainted the face. 

The Hofner violin bass is an early version for the Beatles (as is John’s Rickenbacker) but it’s a fantasy, so I went with it. I contacted ace 1/6 guitar designer Georg Kreuter—whose work I found on the Shapeways 3D print site—and convinced him to give it a go. He sure came through, with what may be the only true 1/6 scale Hofner McCartney bass currently available. Just stunning work! I detailed and painted it up. To be honest, I’d have done this figure years ago but couldn’t find a suitable guitar. Georg made that possible. 

Of course, I had to do a couple of 1971 Beatles concert pics as well. So, here’s what ‘Two of Us’ may have looked like back in 1971. No George or Ringo yet, but you never know! Stay groovy—WEF!“

Bottom Line— Another 1:6 masterpiece by master comics inker and custom action figure creator, Wayne Faucher. Thanks so much (again) for sharing these descriptions of your work and all of these great photos too, Wayne. As always, you are ‘da MAN! —Editor

“Donut Be Naughty” Christmas PJs for 12″ G.I.Joes

It’s a Cozy Joe Christmas— GIjOE looks happy in his new pair of PJs from Christmas Couture.

Box ‘Em Up— Here’s what the box looks like in the store. Look for it in the Christmas aisle.

Bottom Line: We just found this cute pair of “Donut Be Naughty” pajamas at our local Meijer store, here in central Illinois. Originally created for use with the “Elf on a Shelf” toy line by Claus Couture Collection, it fits 1:6 scale GIjOEs as well, thereby providing fans with a comfy (and comical) set of PJs for Joe on Christmas morning. The pants have an elastic waistband and are covered with donuts and “YUM” graphics, while the sweatshirt utilizes velcro closures on its sleeves and sides for easy-on/easy-off dressing. Should you pick up a pair? Heck, yeah!

“WarWire” Assembly Demonstrated in Newest of Series of Instructional Videos by Patches of Pride

Bottom Line: A quick heads up to all the loyal “PoPsters” out there in 1:6 land—Longtime sole sponsor of The Joe Report, Patches of Pride has just uploaded another of their “instructional videos” over on the PoP Video Channel on YouTube. (Have YOU subscribed to their channel?) This one demonstrates the proper assembly of their unique and versatile “WarWire.” Enjoy!

New 1:6 Scale-ish “Retro Electronics” From Japan

Bottom Line: Techmoan’s video says it all. And these miniature electronic beauties are being sold NOW over on Amazon. If you’re interested in picking some up, we suggest you follow the links provided in his video (and set the language preference on Amazon to English). Happy Hunting!

Gird Your Loins, Joeheads—Toylanta 2019 is Just Around the Corner—and it’s BIGGER Than EVER!

Beloved GIjOE and Toy Show Set for March 8-10, 2019

We LOVE when our far-reaching corps of fearless Field Reporters do our work for us. In this case, “Mighty” Marten Jallad recently contacted the news desk here at The Joe Report and submitted the following article he’d written about this year’s upcoming Toylanta. As expected, it is thorough—and EXCELLENT. Thank you, Marten. Enjoy, everyone!

Marten Jallad (Photo: Marten Jallad)

“Earlier this year (in March) TOYLANTA (perhaps known better as “Joelanta”) will celebrate its 18th year of spreading the love of all things toy-related. The show—as many of you already know—was initially created as a one-day event for local GI Joe and one-sixth scale collectors and GI Joe has remained the heart and soul of the show. The show has, however, continued to attract more and more varieties of toys, from the 1960s to present, and this explosion has led to changes, and at times, growing pains, as the show has now transformed into a multi-day convention under the banner—TOYLANTA.” 

“One thing that has been key to our continued growth and success is the vision that show co-founder, Buddy Finethy, put fourth; to host an event by collectors FOR collectors to celebrate our love of collecting and the creative process behind enhancing and displaying our “precious plastic.” The amazing thing, from my perspective, is that that warm and friendly social atmosphere has transcended all the different groups that have now found a home at the convention, including Transformers, Star Wars, GI Joe RAH, and toy collectors in general. I truly love hearing folks say that everyone is so friendly, from the staff, to the vendors and the general public. Toylanta is a place for us to forget about the daily hardships of life and instead, to celebrate our mutual love of the wonder of brightly colored toys that allowed us to use our imaginations during endless hours of play.”

The Hunt is On! Fans and toy collectors searched for their own personal “toy treasures” in one of the spacious dealer rooms of Toylanta 2018. (Photo: Marten Jallad) Click to enlarge.

“TOYLANTA now encompasses approximately 20,000 square feet with around 250 tables of toys, comics and pop culture. Events include panels, creative demonstrations, live music, Parachute Drop, film festival, EJ’s Lobby Swap, Pop Culture Car Show, State of the Hobby panel discussions, a live auction and custom figure and diorama contests, not to mention social events (held each night) for the three nights leading up to the convention. This year, we are also moving the custom area to a bigger space to accommodate MORE dioramas, and are thrilled to have actor-artist-GIjOE RAH creator, Larry Hama, and GIjOE Classic Collection artist, Larry Selman, in attendance for autographs, prints, etc.”

“The creative team has been hard at work on this year’s Joelanta 12” exclusive: The Mountain Man.  He will add to the rich history of the 12 (and counting) one-sixth scale exclusives. The World Famous EJ, King of the Lobby Swap, has also been working on his 5th annual Lobby Swap exclusive.  We can’t wait to see what his creative kit-bashing mind has come up with. We are also excited about our second RAH-style exclusive.”

Seen any Beavers? Meet the “Mountain Man” of Toylanta 2019 (Photo: Marten Jallad)

“I’m often asked how we’re able to put together such a big event—year after year—that attracts so many people from around the country—and the world. The key, I think, is all of the dedication and commitment we receive from so many helpers and friends, both locally and online. Our local GIjOE Collector’s Club fan group meets together once a week at different people’s homes to share a meal, talk toys and enjoy each other’s company. This has been happening for over a decade! We are also bound to a higher goal of opening a Toy and Diorama Museum somewhere in the greater Atlanta area (as TOYLANTA is part of the nonprofit Cody Lane Memorial Museum). It has been a very challenging endeavor, but one that we are dedicated to making a reality.”

“We encourage others to start a local fan group, hold a swap meet, or even start a show of their own in their local community. We are VERY proud of all the other cool shows out there, like the DFW GI Joe and Action Figure Show, the Kentuckiana GI Joe Toy Expo, the Augusta Toy and Comic Show featuring Joefest, and the upcoming Harrisburg Action Figure and Toy Show. Various members of the TOYLANTA crew have lent their talents and given creative and organizational input to assist those other ventures also be successful. Together, we believe we can continue to grow our hobby and keep that spark of creative sense of wonder and play alive in us all. We’ll see you all March 8-10, 2019!” —Marten Jallad, Toylanta

Bottom Line: Our sincerest thanks and admiration go out to Marten and everyone at Toylanta who helps bring GIjOE fandom this truly wonderful event—every—single—year. You guys are the BEST!

2018 is History—Happy New Year, 1:6 Scalers!

Bottom Line: We may have missed the deadline on this, but our sincerest and best wishes go out today to every one of you out there in the ever-growing (and ever-exciting!) 1:6 scale collecting and customizing “universe.” Please keep all of your great (1:6-related) stories coming in, and we’ll keep reporting on—and sharing them—HERE on The Joe Report for the enjoyment of all. Go, JOE!

The So-Called Professional “Movie Critics” are just plain WRONG—”Welcome to Marwen” is an Enjoyable and Entrancing Romantic Adventure!

True Love at 1:6 Scale— Stars “Captain Hogie” and “Nicol” share a dance during a tender scene taken from “Welcome to Marwen,” a truly touching, heartwarming, and FUN 1:6 scale fantasy-drama from Universal Pictures, now showing in theaters across the U.S. (Photo: Universal) Click to enlarge.

Romance, Action, Laughs—What more could you want from ANY movie?

You should only take what “professional” movie critics have to say with a grain of salt. When “Welcome to Marwen” premiered for press reviews today, initial critiques flew quick and harsh, all too hurriedly denouncing Robert Zemeckis’ superb new film as a major disappointment. But BOY, those critics are SO wrong. The movie is GREAT—and Patches of Pride got a few closeups, too!

At Peace with his condition (we hope)— Steve Carell depicts Mark Hogancamp, who must deal daily with brain injuries suffered during a near-fatal beating. Welcome to Marwen is filled with scenes like this, where Hogancamp (Carell) takes time to set up figures and take photographs for an upcoming art gallery exhibit. (Photo: Universal) Click to enlarge (and check out those Patches of Pride patches!)

Bottom Line: Marwen is a WONDERFUL adventure-fantasy-drama. From its opening scene to its last, the film is chocked full of action figure FUN. If you’ve ever loved playing with GIjOEs, Barbies, doll house miniatures, or anything else to do with the ever-expanding 1:6 scale collecting and customizing hobby, then this film is for you. More importantly, if you also crave to see movies with characters that you can really care about, individuals who demonstrate that they have good, honest, GENTLE souls, then you’ll love Marwen. Get up out of your office chair, get in your car, and go down to the local theater NOW to see this movie. We give it two BIG thumbs up—Go, HOGIE!