After 22 years of dedicated service to the 1:6 scale community, Patches of Pride (PoP) owner Mark Otnes has apparently decided to call it “quits.” Besides being the world’s go-to source for 1:6 scale patches, decals and other related accessories, PoP was also the long-standing, sole sponsor of The Joe Report. Yet, as of December 12, 2020, both the PoP website and its social media page on Facebook have been completely removed from the internet. Poof! Kaput! Adios! GONE.
Understandably curious (and a trifle concerned) about this unexpected turn of events, we dispatched our team of dedicated reporters to track down Mr. Otnes for an official comment. TJR Field Reporter Fred Friendly was the first to locate the reclusive miniatures magnate at an undisclosed resort hotel—somewhere in Hawaii—and according to Friendly—
When I finally found him, Mr. Otnes was reclining back on a padded, chaise lounge chair, tucked away beneath a massive beach umbrella. I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear a low snore emanating from the shade as I approached. Suddenly, and with apparent cat-like reflexes, Otnes reached out and grabbed—a frosty-cold drink from the small table that was placed next to his chair. Between sips of the piña colada, he agreed to respond to my questions about the demise of his beloved business and plans for future projects.
As I approached Mr. Otnes, he looked up and addressed me, stating—
“No, no, no… No more beluga caviar, please. And stop asking me, okay? I… Oh, sorry. You look like you work at the hotel. Actually, you look like you’ve been sleeping in your clothes for 3 days.”
He was right, of course, but after I introduced myself, I asked him about why he had decided to take the highly popular Patches of Pride website away from everyone. Why would he DO such a thing? The questions seemed to surprise him, as he replied—
“Hey, I didn’t take nuthin! And before you ask, I don’t know about any embezzlement of PoP company funds, either. It was all probably just some sorta simple accounting error, ya’ know?”
Um.. okay. I wasn’t sure if it was all the Biscotti cookies I’d eaten on the plane (so sue me, I’m sugar-addicted) or the raging case of jet-lag that was throbbing through my brain, but it seemed as if he’d misunderstood my question. I asked him instead about his plans for the future, on account that he’d have to get off this shore sometime. At this query, he sat bolt upright, stating—
“Look, Hobo-Joe—Don’t think I don’t get what you’re sayin’—I don’t know anything about any ‘off-shore accounts,’ okay? And as to my future ‘plans,’ I intend to give it all away to some charity, okay? I heard a Costanza guy talking on TV the other night and he mentioned something called ‘The Human Fund.’ That sounded good to me!”
By now, I was lost. However, I pressed on and asked Otnes if he planned to continue supporting 1:6 scale news outlets such as The Joe Report, and he practically yelled the following invective at me—
“Do I have to call Security? You ‘Freedom of the Press’ weirdos bug the heck outta me. And before you start asking about my new Bentley, I have a receipt from the dealership in the glovebox and a note from my CPA stating it’s a legit business expense, okay?
Now, get outta my way, Rumpled-suit-skin!”
At this, Mr. Otnes abruptly rose from his chair and shoved his way past me, knocking the camera out of my hands and into some nearby bushes. Before I was able to retrieve the camera and snap a photo, he had already stormed halfway down the beach, looking back only to shake a fist at me as he went around the bend and out of sight.
Bottom Line: We’re sorry we weren’t able to get any more information about this breaking news story, but until and unless Mr. Otnes decides to become more forthcoming, we’ll have to leave it at that. Oh! Before leaving town, Mr. Otnes DID leave a brief written explanation for his actions over on a new blog entitled, “Otnes Originals.” If you’d like to read that, please jump HERE now.